One morning, I woke up with strong sense of self. I felt that I finally found my true self. As time pass by, I felt that I have lost myself again. Not in the sense as lost or missing but I felt I did not have such strong sense of self anymore.
For few days, this was a bit upsetting and frustrated. I thought I had strong sense of self and now I don’t have that connection again. It seems that I have went backwards.
Had a discussion with a friend who is also my mentor, colleague, and supervisor illustrated and shared with me about her perspective.
“Well, these days I don’t feel that I have lost myself anymore. I am who I am, and although I will find a bit awkward sometime, I know who I am, I know my true self and core which never change. It’s like… say you are baking a
soufflé. Some days, you will make a perfect soufflé, nice and soft and gentle. Other days, it might not be a perfect soufflé you’ve imagined. But, it is still a soufflé. It might be affected by external factors such as weather, moisture in air, condition of the flour etc. However, there’s no doubt it is a soufflé.
“Similarly, no matter how you’ve been affected by external factors your true self will never gone away. You’re still who you are and there’s no doubt about that. You are currently expanding your comfortable zone. It might be uncomfortable and awkward because you are experimenting your new comfortable zone. You are testing your extension in the real life. Enjoy everything as you can because it is very exciting trial you are doing!!”
This conversation settled me about my fear of lost in self. In fact, it actually assured me that I am still who I am and expanding my comfortable zone. Surely, this is exciting because it is giving me a sense that I am growing and developing.
In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me.
There are persons who have some parts like me,
but no one adds up exactly like me.
Therefore, everything that comes out of me is authentically mine because I alone chose it.
I own everything about me – my body, including everything it does;
my mind, including all its thoughts and ideas;
my eyes, including the images of all they behold;
my feelings, whatever they may be – anger, joy, frustration, love, disappointment, excitement;
my mouth, and all the words that come out of it, sweet or rough, correct or incorrect;
my voice, loud or soft;
and all my actions, whether they be to others or to myself.
I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears.
I own all my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes.
Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me.
By so doing I can love me and be friendly with me in all my parts.
I can then make it possible for all of me to work in my best interests.
I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know.
But as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for the solutions to the puzzles and for ways to find out more about me.
However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is me.
This is authentic and represents where I am at that moment in time.
When I review later how I looked and sounded, what I said and did, and how I thought and felt, some parts may turn out to be unfitting.
I can discard that which is unfitting, and keep that which proved fitting, and invent something new for that which I discarded.
I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do.
I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me.
I own me,
and therefore I can engineer me.
I am me,
and I am okay.“Making Contact” Virginia Satir
If I stop here, the world is only going to get what I can contribute as current me. However, if I keep developing myself, the world is going to get more contribution from me.
Because I own me, I will take full responsibility of me.
Because I own me, I will engineer me to become a better person.
Because I own me, I will be continuously evolving so I can contribute more to the world.
What can you contribute to the world today?
What’s the unique contribution you are making today?
Are you ready to expand your comfortable zone?