Since I was young, I had no choice but to go to university and get a degree. I have been repeated told that “you’ve to set an example to your brother and sister as the eldest child in the family by go to the university.” I tried my best and went straight to university. While some parts of me thought I had no other choice, some parts of me knew I had choice.
For my parents, they’ve suggested medical field or engineering because these are the only fields they’ve studied or know a bit about. Both my parents studied engineering from same college. My father studied abroad to pursuit his dream of chemical engineering after graduating. My mother had better results but she entered a path to become a fulltime mother. Working mother was not a choice in that era, her hope/dream was on us children. My maternal relatives were all healthcare professionals except for my mother so she had some knowledge about healthcare professionals.
Eventually, my father obtained a doctorate degree in chemical engineering; however, moving to a new country, soon after, he did not continued with his career. As I didn’t have much preference in my career and unsure about my dream, I chose the path of study/research. It wasn’t an easy path because of language proficiency, but I had kept studying somehow. I didn’t know what kept me going but I never thought of quitting study.
As time passed by, as my supervisor called me a “professional student.” It is privilege that I was able to study up until now. I don’t want to know the total years of my study because if I count from kindergarten to now, babies who were back then should be an adult by now.
About a year ago, I’ve realised why I was studying so hard, becoming a researcher. I was living my father’s dream. He had to given up his dream to feed his family. Perhaps, he was like me, didn’t have strong value of his dream.
I think the worst part is that when you know you dream another person’s dream, you can never truly feel at peace. Never truly trust yourself. If you carry around somebody else’s nightmare, who knows what else your insides might hide or when it might come out?Cameron Dokey
Only recently, I’ve found that I was living my own dream. Although it might felt like living my father’s dream, I was living my own life purpose. The motivation might be similar but I was relieved when I’ve realised that I wasn’t simply living his dream. I can now clearly differentiate my dream to his and I am grateful that I am on the right path to fulfill my dream.
What is the dream you are living today?
Are you living your dream?
Are you doing something towards your dream?