Recently, I have lost my maternal grandmother. Probably in comparison to my maternal grandfather, I did not share much in common with her. Part of this is communication problem and the other is we didn’t have much interactions.
I know she was a year older than my grandfather, meaning that she was born before world war II. She didn’t share with me much of her childhood but she raised three sons and three daughters. It’s very interesting that I didn’t hear much about how she mothered.
Let’s see what I remember of her. I remember she had strong voice. I vaguely remember that in one of the new year’s eve, she was playing card as part of tradition in the culture. After grandfather passed away, she continued to live in the house by herself until she passed away.
I remember an incident that when my mother was visiting my grandmother and they had a fight. My grandmother still cooked for my mother whilst she had a bit of difficulty walking. She carried the meal to upstairs for my mother but my mother refused to eat and take it downstairs.
Few years ago, I visited her by myself. We spent few hours alone with her. She shared with me some stories when my mother was young and some places she toured with my grandfather.
My maternal grandparents owned a pharmacy. After grandfather passed away, they’ve closed it. My grandmother displayed photos all over the shop, reminding her about those good times she shared with grandfather.
On the wall, across from where she usual sit, is the award she received been the best mother. I will ask my mum why she had received that award.
I wasn’t able to attend her funnel due to egos and so called “culture” restrictions. I wasn’t able to attend my grandfather’s too. My parents didn’t want me to be there. They saw it was unnecessary for me to make my effort to be there. So, up to this day, I am yet to appropriately grief for the loss of my maternal grandmother.
Of her last years, what I miss about her? She calmly tried her best to understand me, to accommodate me, and to share her time with me. Although I didn’t share well a common language with her, she did treated me like a grand daughter I shall say. I guess, that’s what’s most important.
Mother, what a wondrous, nourishing power you have!Poem “Mother” by Daisaku Ikeda
Were it not for you in this world,
People would lose the earth to return to,
And wander for all eternity.
Mother, our mother.
Persevering through the storm,
You offered prayers in sadness.
I pray you will stay in good health until the day
When all your wishes are fulﬁlled,
And, as though endowed with wings,
you take ﬂight toward the heavens.
Mother, with your ideas and wisdom,
I hope you will perform a melody of peace on the earth,
Where people look forward to the arrival of spring.
Thus, you will become the mother of the Century of Humanity.
Are you cherishing each moment you have now?
Are you cherishing the person in front of you now?
Do you cherishing who you are sharing your time with now?