When things happens, a common phrase you hear is “time will tell.” Many times, I actually replied “I want the answer now” but as time pass by, I have realised that the answer I get now might be different to what I have in years time or a decade time.
I remember the first time I have experienced the loss of significant others. My heart had a question “Why?” Why this person? Why now? Why this happens to me? I guess, answers to these questions are yet to be answered to this day but I have no doubt these will be answered.
When my parents decided to immigrate to a new country, I also asked “Why?” This question had been answered but whether it is a good decision or not, such judgement cannot be made until I move to my next life. Regardless of its impact and destruction, I have made a decision to make most out of it.
Since my youth, I have learnt to make most out of all experiences regardless good or bad. I learnt this in a phrase.
…like a great physician who can change poison into medicine.The Writings of Nichiren Daishonin, Vol 1, p. 146
This doesn’t mean that I wasn’t hurt or negatively impacted. It means that I will learn from it and move on. At times, I might need to stop, nurture, and heal myself but there’s meaning to all things happening to me. I have no power to change my past but I have power to control how I react to my past.
Let me share with you my experience.
My relationship with my father is probably abnormal or dysfunctional. However, this is the only way I know how to relate to my father. Things happened in the past that was not completely healed. At a moment, I might feel I have completely dealt with it and not going to be bothered by it. At next incident, I found myself destructed by past again. Yes, there’s no doubt that each time, I am dealing with it at deeper level of my soul, my life. However, every time it arose to the surface make me feel like ‘I failed again to resolve this.’
After repeating these process for few times, I have told myself “that’s enough. I am not going to live in this state of being a victim of my past.”
What is the poison? It is the three paths of earthly desires, karma, and suffering that are our lot. What is the medicine? It is the Dharma body, wisdom, and emancipation. And what does it mean to change poison into medicine? It means to transform the three paths into the three virtues: the Dharma body, wisdom, and emancipation.The Writings of Nichiren Daishonin, Vol. 2, p. 743
I personally know many people who showed me actual proof of “changing poison into medicine.” When I asked them “What have you gained from it?” all of them replied in their own words “Although it was tough, there were meaning to it. It had expanded my life in a way I never imagined. I am stronger and deepened my life. ”
Time will explain it all.
Waste no tears over the griefs of yesterday.
One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.
Love is all we have, the only way that each can help the other.
Whoso neglects learning in his youth, loses the past and is dead for the future.Euripides
What are the meanings you are giving to your past?
What have you learnt from your experience?
What can you transform in your life?