One day, I was having a dialogue with my supervisor. She said that “only few people around us [her and her husband] , understand us.” Whilst I was feeling happy about her comment, it was enough for me to reflect what she had just said.
For many years, I had to guess what I need to do, think, or act, so the other understands me. I feel rejected when I find out someone misunderstood me.
Let me share my story.
During my primary school years, I experienced a year of isolation from the class. It was caused by a little misunderstanding from a peer which led to the total exclusion for the whole year.
I was lucky because I had adults who respected my decisions in relation to this issue and they had nurtured me to keep going.
There were days when I felt it is easier to study from home rather than attending schooling. However, for me, that means being defeat to those who led the class to my exclusion.
Eventually, I learned how to work in isolation and enjoy alone time.
This experience was enough trigger for me to fear towards misunderstanding. When I am misunderstood or cannot reach an agreement with others, I feel it is a rejection from them. Further, because they don’t share same value as me, so they probably are not my true friend. They are not where I should belong.
Is it so bad to be misunderstood?
Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo and Newton and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh.
To be great is to be misunderstood.Ralph Waldo Emerson
Not only feeling the exclusion from those who don’t understand me, I automatically exclude them out of my life. Recently, I have discovered that no matter how close you feel you are with others, they might not feel the same way as I do. It is okay because that’s why we are unique in this world. In fact, when I have been misunderstood, it is not enough to stop me from what I want to achieve in my life. I might try to explain myself through having some decent dialogue with them.
What will you do when you feel others don’t understand you?
What will you choose to do when others misunderstood you?
Does it matter if they misunderstood you?