For many years, I wanted to become a person who can communication effectively, precisely, and meaningfully. Yes, I am still learning how to do so.
Communication needs at least two person: a person who expresses him/her-self and a receiver/listener. Therefore, the aim of communication is to reach common understanding.
With many experiments, I am now aware that I have few tendencies when I communicate with others.
1. I speak without a topic. When I speak, I assumed that people understand what I’m talk about.
2. I can speak with multiple topics at a given time. This skill was developed from online chatting with multiple people. Even talking with a person, I will jump from a topic to another which might not have a relationship at all.
3. I communicate the outcome of my thoughts rather than sequence of my thoughts.
4. It seems I have no logic/sequence in my communication.
As stated above, I am yet to gain skill to become good communicator, in terms of expressing myself. So, am I a good listener?
I am not a good listener too. I am aware of my tendencies been a listener too.
1. I only hear what interests me. I allow not interested information to bypass me.
2. I jump into rescue mode. If someone was sharing their experience, I tend to jump into rescue mode trying to be helpful.
3. I am not patient enough to listen to complains for hours or repeatedly.
4. I am yet to learn how to put myself into others’ shoes. Simply yet to train my imagination.
Knowledge is speaking, Wisdom is listening.Jimi Hendrix
The mark of wisdom lies, more than anything else, in the ability to listen.Daisaku Ikeda
Someone once suggested a strategy for me to try. She suggested:
“Just listen for one minute before speak. It’s not asking you to suppress any of your feelings but giving others a chance to express themselves. You are capable of expressing yourself at any given moment so let others have some chance to experience that as well.”
Instead of jumping to the conclusion, I would like to listen to others with an attitude that every experience is an unique experience and there is something I can learn from it.
What have you decided to listen today?
What are you taking in?
What intention do you have with listening?