Human mind is designed for automated responses. When an event happened, we instantly making meaning, association, and decision out of it. Do you have experience such as:
– After work driving home, bypassing a shop and remembered that you had to pick up a bottle of milk because you have used it all up.
– Talking to someone and remembered that you have to tell him/her something you though last night.
– Taking a break and suddenly remembered that you have to return a call.
These are some of the examples of mind automatically associated things.
I came across many people whose mind is quite busy. My mum is a classic and I think I have that trend in me too. I can jump from a topic to another without explaining why I jump to another topic. My mind would be constantly analysing information and trying my best to make sense.
About 10 years ago, I was having a chat with my sister and I think this was the first time that she made me aware what I was doing.
sister: Wait wait. So just few seconds ago we were talking about A but it seems like you are talking about B now. How does A relate to B?
Me: No relation. Why?
Sister: Well, how can you go from A to B?
Me: I was talking to you about A and that remembered what I thought about C that was related to B.
Sister: Well you have to tell or explain that process you had in your mind or otherwise I cannot make any association how you go from A to B.
Me: That’s a lot of explanation I had to do.
Sister: Yes but without that information I cannot follow what you are trying to say.
Reflecting back this was the first time someone said I need to know but I remember I though it is troublesome to explain/follow my thinking logically. That was the first time I realised that not everyone can follow my conversation without explaining further about my thinking.
Since then, I do give more attention to my thinking. I will still say things without giving any connection; however, when I saw their facial expression that they were confused, I tend to add more words/explanation to it. I am also aware that I have tendency to talk in minimal context, in particular to a large group. Some people might say it is too abstract, others would say tell me more, or my supervisor will add more for me.
Never explain yourself.
Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it.Belgicia Howell
Probably I share minimal because that was a strategy I used to protect myself. If a person in front of me who is curious and willing to know more about me, they will ask questions which eventually will lead to a new dialogue.
Now, I share minimal because I learnt by sharing minimal about my life, which in turn, allowed others to share their life. I am aware I have tendency to talk only about myself. So, allowing others to share will prevent such tendency.
Do you need to explain yourself how you get there?
What is your intention of sharing?
What can you share out of mutual respect?