When a family gathering didn’t turn out…

It can become a tragedy when family gathering turned into a nightmare. Not just ruine the atmosphere, in some cases, it may ruine a relationship that cannot be repaired.

On my father’s 60th Birthday, he wanted to celebrate with family in a way he wants to. He offered to cook his birthday lunch. When we arrived home, my parents were having an argument, which started from previous day. This has led my mother refused to attend this family gathering. So she decided to go out instead of staying home.

What happened then?
No one stopped her or asked her to stay. So she had to go out as she said but eventually she came back and stayed for the lunch. She said to my father “Can you feel my pain now?” but obviously he didn’t said anything. “Do you feel sorry now? Are you going to admit your fault now?” she continued but my father refused to answer. She stayed regardless.

We had a great lunch after all. We had a really relaxed time that we haven’t spend for years. It was a nice moments.

A relationship is based on communication.

John Cena

On the following day of my father’s 60th birthday, my parents visited us. My mother did her usual self. She had a significant conflict with my niece. My niece pretty much refused any further visit from her.

My mother was playing with my niece’s toy and my niece got it back from her. On the way, my niece accidentally stepped on my mother’s wrest. She made it a big fuss over that. My niece claimed that she said ‘sorry’ straight after however my mum obviously didn’t hear that. Being a responsible first child, my niece obviously become extremely worried, panicked, and didn’t know what to do. So she started crying.

Well, my mother thought it was a great joke. Obviously my niece felt extremely upset that she tricked her and not understanding how serious this situation was. Eventually, my mum said ‘sorry’ but by that time my niece was crying uncontrollably.

As an adult, I would like to live as a model to our younger generation. I don’t want my niece to learn over-responsibility in such a young age. However, I also understand that my mum will have some difficulty understanding the seriousness of this situation. She is still not aware that she is at the point where her relationship with my niece have been ruined so badly and it will take time and enormous effort to repair it.

Open, honest communication is the best foundation for any relationship, but remember that at the end of the day it’s not what you say or what you do, but how you make people feel that matters the most.

Tony Hsieh

Miscommunication lead to misunderstanding. Misunderstanding lead to mistrust. I don’t know whether there’s any possibility to repair their relationship. The only possibility is the continuous dialogue with my mum and my niece. They might not understand at first but I feel this is a hope to future relationship.

How can you repair a relationship you want to keep?
What is the importance of the communication?
How can we lead a good example?

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