Recently I have heard many people concerned about the external noises that’s forcing them to do something they don’t want to do. For example, if your boss asked you to do something, you have no choice other than deliver it. When your team decided on a direction, you can’t say you want to go in the other direction. As we grow, we learned to compensate to have a smoother interactions.
As a human, not many individuals can live in isolation. I certainly can’t because I feel some sense of fulfillment when I interact with my friends. I get more out by having a dialogue with people I trust. So, I will feel my life is out of my control when I live in an isolation.
Growing up, I eventually realised that not everyone you encountered in the life will remain in the rest of your life. They are with you temporarily and will certainly move on when they are ready. I am aware I do the similar thing too. I will move on when I am ready to move on. Indeed, some of them comes back, spend a bit of time with you, and move on again. Indeed nothing is static in interpersonal interaction.
At work place, we spend a third of time of our 24 hours together. That’s a big chunk of time you are spending with someone sitting next to you at your office, if you are working at office. Obviously, this is another reason why your interpersonal relationship at the work environment is going to affect your life.
Regardless of work environment or personal life, I used to be very upset about things people said to me. I would be upset about people not doing the right thing. Or, even when people didn’t take my advice and did their own things. Because my whole life was based on the external validation, that was how I determined value of me. That was how I benched marked myself. That was how I learned appropriate interpersonal interaction.
Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your mind, feelings, and emotions.Will Smith
I don’t remember what they’ve said to me now but it was interesting to realise how much power they had in my life. I am aware words from my mum still has a great impact on me. I am getting better to shield out her words but still need more practice.
Recently, I have learned how to shield this out. Not to ignore all her words but instead of listening in to everything she said, I learned to question it before taking it in. I learned to question whether it aligns with my values in life or not. Is that what I really want to do?
As she is a very critical person, I want to be stronger to shield out these criticisms. I do this by enhancing my confidence in myself. It certainly helped me to strengthen my relationship with myself.
I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.Mahatma Gandhi
I have learned that I have choice to take in or not, listening in or not, believe or not. I have a choice what to take in, listening in, and believe in. I certainly have a brain that I can think and evaluate. I have courage to make decision for myself and take responsibilities for any consequences of my decision.
What are you believing today?
What are you listening to?
Is that aligned with your values in life?