I grew up with this notion that I shouldn’t admit my own fault. If it is someone else’s fault than that won’t be my problem. My parents were like that so was I. What I wasn’t aware is that bit by bit I was accumulating this sense of guiltiness inside myself. Even though majority part of me said ‘it was someone else’s fault’, some part of me said ‘It might be my fault’. Slowly, this small lie become a big lie that I can’t hide anymore.
Then, I will give myself a reason why I had to do that. Majority of time would be like “Because so and so said … and left me with no choice other than …”
I was an angry person. I was easily get irritated, frustrated, and upset. I always thought I can pretend my anger but people can see it on my face. They can see it from my attitude.
It’s always easy to blame others.
You can spend your entire life blaming the world, but your successes or failures are entirely your own.Paulo Coelho
I blamed on others who didn’t behaved in the way I expected them to. I had so much rules and expectations for others. At the same time, I had similar for myself. I wonder why I felt so tired after meeting with a friend or attended a party. Because for all those time, I was tried to live as someone else that was far from my true nature.
When you blame others, you give up your power to change.Robert Anthony
For years, I felt incomplete about myself. I knew, I was such a small coward who didn’t know how to take responsibility of my own life. To take responsibility of my own action. To take responsibility of my own decision. I was so afraid of failure and associated shame that I didn’t get to the end result. So I blamed on everything around me; from my environment, situation, and timing to person around me. I knew something was wrong but I never knew what was I doing wrong.
I always believed I was doing the right thing but it didn’t work. I wanted to try differently but I didn’t know how to change. I was so rigid in my thinking and didn’t know how to think differently. I didn’t know how to see it from another perspective. Those were times that I slowly felt I was drowning into unknown reality.
It is imperative to base your life on yourself, to take responsibility for your own happiness.Josei Toda
Not until I realised that I am solely responsible for my own happiness and not others. No one else can determine my happiness for me but myself. When I finally understood this, I saw a light. When this reality finally touched my heart, I realised that my life has opened up. I felt centralised in myself because I learned to listen to my heart.
It is a human tendency to blame others before reflecting on oneself.
But if you do, you will never find the real cause of the problem, and there will be no real improvement.Daisaku Ikeda
When I am reflecting on myself, I learned to listen to my heart first. I feel much lighter that I don’t need to blame on others anymore because I am in charge of my own life and decisions I make along the way.
What is your human tendency?
Is your human tendency assist you to move forward?
Are you living a life based on your heart?