It has been a while since I wrote last time. It took me so long to come back to this writing. I guess, so many things happned in between and it took me away from my posting. Let me share one of awarensses on this post.
At the end of last year, I travelled to home country with my auntie’s family. Yes, it was fun, relaxing and intersting. More than that, things happened in between that assured where I am at, where I am going, and how I am going there. I did everything I planned, met everyone I wanted to meet, and ate everything I wanted. I had so much fun!!
One night, I cought up with a highschool friend. We catch up every few years when possible. This was the first time we met in my home country. It was interesting how I grew out of what I used to call ‘tradition’ and my friend who were enforeced back into this ‘tradition’. As I started to question everything I do these days, I simply asked her “why?” That opened up a profound but honest conversation with her.
Toward the end of my journey, I stayed with a friend for about two weeks. Well, this was one of the main reason or purpose of this trip. Spending two weeks with her exposed me to her reality, daily life. I realised that because she holds all her anger within, it is costing her health and wellbeing. I didn’t know how to lift her mood but I determined to be there as who I am. It was fascinating to realise that more I allowed myself to be, more I likely to attract attention to who I am. It wasn’t easy because I felt so much forces which were pulling me back. It was much easier to be “a good girl”. It was so much easier to dictate others. It was easeir to consider others before my own.
Self-esteem and self-love are the opposites of fear:Brian Tracy
The more you like yourself, the less you fear anything.
She remembered who she was and the game changed.Lalah Deliah
It took me so long to discover myself. At some point, I thought it was impossible to find myself in this lifetime. When I allowed myself to be from the core of my heart, the world changed. My whole life changed in a direction that I never imagined. Then, I strated to realise those who are living in the way that are preventing them to blossom, to the next level, to where they want to be.
I couldn’t stop myself from asking questions to friends. Is this how you want to live rest of your life? Is this how you want to live every day? If you have no restriction, how do you want to live and feel everyday?
As part of my self-reflection, I had to question myself why I couldn’t stop asking these questions. Probably these were questions someone asked me at the beginning of my journey. If I could come from where I was to here, I guess my friends are able to do so if they are willing to and open to transformation.
Are you allowing yourself to be?
Are you living the life you want to live?
How can you shine?